School's out for summer ... so are the dust bunnies

Time for the hired help to get back to work.

Another school year came to a close Wednesday, and the official celebration kicked off at our house with my daughter and son inviting friends over to tan (Claire and her friends), swimming (Alek and his friends) and eating (my idea of a party.)

Although the temperature barely reached 70, and skies were overcast, Alek insisted on a swimming party in our above-ground pool that does not lend itself to having a lot of people in it at one time.

The weather would have been enough for me to avoid water this time of year, but each spring Alek cannot wait to get in the pool, never mind the fact hypothermia is a real possibility.

But for me and my wife, the end of the school year means something more important, the workers -- Claire and Alek -- return to their appointed duties of keeping the house fairly clean.

Even though they have chores that are supposed to require their attention on a daily basis, school, jobs, sports and their basic disinterest in chores make it a chore for my wife and I to keep them on task.

Although we are not neat-freaks who require the house to be spotless — unless guests are coming (see previous column about cleaning for confirmation) -- we would like to keep the health inspectors away.

With two kids, a dog and a cat, keeping the house clean is not an easy task. Especially since the kids are unable to understand simple directions, like “do the dishes every day.” Apparently my English-to-teenager dictionary is of no use because something is lost in the translation. They hear “do the dishes whenever you feel like it or when Mom and Dad scream.”

Claire actually cleaned her room the other night because she was having friends over. Usually her room is scattered with clothes — clean or dirty — who can tell?

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Alek whose room has been spotless since he was 9. Of course he makes up for it by leaving his dirty socks in the living room, baseball uniform in the bathroom and everything else in a trail from the basement, through the family room and upstairs.

But all this comes to an end for the next three months -- at least that’s what my wife and I tell ourselves -- because summer vacation is here, and there is cleaning to be done.

My wife and I tell each other we won’t have to push the vacuum again until August. No dust will pile up on floors, in corners or on ceiling fans. Bathrooms will sparkle. Dishes will no longer pile up on the counter to the point I’m washing out the dog’s bowl so I can have my Cherrios in the morning.

Everyone needs a dream. Most wish to win the lottery, My wife and I consider a clean house our reward. After all, there must have been some reason we had kids.

As much grief as I give Claire and Alek, I have to admit they hit most of the dirty spots, and while cleaning is not what they live for, maybe, just maybe, they will have learned how to clean when they get their own homes.

But in the meantime, for the next three months they are my cleaning crew, and they better get to work.

Patrick Murphy is assistant managing editor of The Telegram. Reach him at 563-7505 or pmurphy@columbustelegram.com.