How has cancer affected your life?

I have lost both Grandfathers and several aunts due to cancer. Both of my grandmothers had breast cancer. My husband has lost his father and several aunts and uncles has well. I have an ex sis-in-law that is currently battleing cancer and so far is winning. She went to the relay for the first time and loved it.
God Bless all the survivors and thier caregivers.

I found this on Craigslist and it says it all..........In February of this year I was diagnosed with advanced Hodgkins Lymphoma. I went through eight months of chemotherapy, everything looks really good, and now I am just waiting my post-chemo scans to indicate remission. I am finally done with chemo. Woop woop. This is very good news for me. I’m real happy about it and I am excited to get on with my life.
I was a good cancer patient…no, a great cancer patient. I was tough. I didn’t curl up in a ball and hide, I faced it, I sucked it up, and got through it. I’m not looking for a medal, I just want to preface what I am going to say with the fact that I am not whiney or self-pitying, and that I realize that I am not the only one who’s had to deal with this crap, and that there’s worse things that could have happened to me. I have a wonderful family and caring friends that have formed a very lovely support system for me. I cannot thank them enough for all their help and love.
That said, here’s my rant…This goes out to everyone I know – friends, family, co-workers, doctors, nurses, radiologists, technicians, friends of friends, exes, and others…
1. There is no “good” kind of cancer. Yes, this kind of cancer at my stage has an 80-85% survival rate. That’s great, I am happy about that – really, I am, but that doesn’t make it “good” or any “better” than any other kind of cancer. Cancer is a scary thing, the treatment is excruciating, and at the end of the day, if you happen to get “lucky” and be one of the 15-20% that don’t survive, that statistic turns from a “good” one to a not-so-great one. Really. That’s like one out of five. Can you think of five friends? Picture them. If one of them up and died would you consider it a “good” number of them? I didn’t think so. So please, don’t tell me I got the “good” kind of cancer – don’t even suggest it. Don’t even say, “Well, at least you didn’t get _________ cancer, that would really suck.” Uh, hello, this pretty much REALLY sucks. Next time you get cancer I’ll ask you if you think the kind you got is “good”.
2. Don’t tell me things I don’t want to hear. For some reason, it occurred several times that when I told someone what I was going through (which is kinda awkward anyway), they would say something to the effect of “OH, my (mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, insert any other relative or even remote acquaintance here) just died last year of cancer.” Or “Right, my (insert distant relative here) died of Hodgkin’s.” What the hell?? I have been diagnosed with a terrible disease and am undergoing intensive and debilitating treatment, and you’re going to tell me about someone dying? What? Seriously? It’s better just to not chime in here. Again, next time you get cancer, I’ll try this line out on you and you can let me know what you think.
3. DO NOT ask me about my hair. With the kind of chemo I had, my hair started falling out around treatment #3, slowly at first, then lots at a time until I finally, and very sadly, shaved my head. THAT WAS REALLY HARD TO DO. It’s about a lot of things…it’s about vanity and feeling ugly, it’s about the stigma of being sick and that being obvious to the world, it’s about knowing or not who you are without your hair/eyelashes/eyebrows, it’s complicated. And, I take ownership of the fact that some of that is really superficial s*** – but it’s very real and it’s emotional. So, comments like “How’s your hair doing?” “Wow, it’s really thinning out!” “So is your hair just coming out in handfuls?” and “Is that a wig?” are not helpful and WILL make me cry. If you think this is stupid or oversensitive, let me say it again: next time you get cancer let me know how this goes.
4. Don’t tell me it’s going to be ok. Bottom line is this – I know I want everything to be ok, and I know you want everything to be ok – you wouldn’t be my friend/involved family member if that weren’t the case. Unfortunately, we BOTH know that it just might not be ok. We BOTH know that there exists the possibility that it’s not going to be ok and that the disease isn’t going to respond, or is going to come back, and that even if I am tough and brave, it could kill me. I have had to deal with that idea since the word “cancer” came out of the doctor’s mouth. In that moment, and in the hours and days to come, I knew that it could happen that everything was not going to be ok. If I didn’t know that, cancer wouldn’t be such a big deal. If that weren’t a possibility, we wouldn’t have shed tears when we heard the news. So, for my sake, don’t say that line. I know it’s the first thing that comes to mind, and I know you mean it well, but try something else that actually means something, like: “Whenever you need anything I’ll be there” or “This is going to be rough but I’m here for you” or “I’m on my way over with a last season’s Top Model” or even just “Give ‘em hell, sista”. I know you may not get it, but next time you get cancer we’ll share profound understanding when I tell you that I know it may not be ok and that I know that’s real scary.
5. Don’t comment about my weight. Ok, here’s something that I didn’t know before I started this. Chemotherapy is NOT a weight loss plan – YES, they have indeed discontinued all the fringe benefits from the cancer card membership. Turns out, they give you steroids that make you hungry all the damned time. And, you feel like complete s*** and don’t even have enough energy to walk up the stairs, much less to exercise. In the beginning when I was still trying to figure out how to deal with s***ty side effects like constant vomiting, painful mouth sores, etc, I lost weight because I just literally couldn’t eat. But once I got that under control, the hunger would come on, and man, I can eat a lot. I was in pretty good shape (at the gym five days a week, healthy foods, etc) when all this started and now I have gained weight and am up a pants size. The once-muscle has turned into mushy fat and I’m not happy about it, but during treatment there was just no fix. So, the “wow, you’ve put a couple on, haven’t you?” or “I thought you lose weight on chemo” comments are not helpful and again, will make me cry. Next time you get cancer, see how you feel when I tell you to “hit the gym.”
6. Chemotherapy sucks. I think everyone knows that – I don’t know what the first thing is that pops into your head when you read that word, but I would venture to guess that it’s not something warm and smiley. It sucks, it really sucks. You vomit, are nauseated (which is so much worse than vomiting) all the time, you get terrible headaches, you can’t sleep, you get sores in your mouth and chronic yeast infections, you get seriously seriously constipated, your brain malfunctions and you can’t remember how to get to the bus stop or where you normally leave the toothpaste, your whole body hurts, your toenails fall off (wtf? Yeah) and now they give you shots to stimulate white blood cell production (at least in my case) that cause relentless, incapacitating pain that made you simply want to give up on living just to make it stop. Ok, I said it, chemotherapy sucks – and I am really good at being tough and not letting everyone know all the s***ty stuff that’s happening to me at once, but you know it sucks. So, no, I am not interested in hearing you whine about a cold you think you’re getting, your scratchy throat, your eye/ear/sinus infection, your sleepiness, your headache, etc. I know you really don’t feel good, but c’mon man, suck it up – or at least go tell someone else who doesn’t have cancer. Next time you get it, you’ll drop kick the a**hole that spends ten minutes talking about how bad their hangover is.
7. It’s a REALLY long road. Eight months is a long time to be sick. It just is, and I KNOW (I really know) that it gets old. In the beginning everyone called all the time, offered to go to chemo with me, sent lots of e-mails, came over to visit when I was sick….but after the months drag on it’s like people get sick of it. I understand that – ‘cause I got pretty sick of it too. I got sick of calling in to work, not doing anything fun, not seeing anyone….even just answering the damned “How are you feeling?” question….I felt like it was better to lie and say “fine” than to say how I really felt because people kind of don’t know how to react or don’t want to hear it. I have a wonderful husband and mother who took exceptional care of me, even when they needed a break, even when it got old, even when they got sick of hearing me say I felt like s***. They did that because they knew I needed them. I needed other people too, I needed girlfriends to just come over with a movie or a dvd of a funny tv show, or to call me on the days they knew I had treatment, or to just call when they hadn’t heard from me in days. Some did and some didn’t. You know who you are and why you didn’t. Maybe you didn’t feel comfortable or maybe you were too “busy.” Regardless, I love you, and I will do it for you the next time you get cancer.
I really, really hope you never get cancer. I mean that for everyone – even if you’re a jerk, even if you write to me and rant meaningless bulls*** about my rant, even if you really deserve to have something nasty happen to you – I hope you don’t get cancer. It’s awful. I’m not one of those “I’m a survivor!” types, I’m not one of those in-your-face super tough post-cancer freaks, I’m really normal and I will get over this. That said, if you do get cancer or if your friend or (insert any relative here) gets cancer, you can bet your bottom dollar that if/when I hear about it I’ll be on your/their doorstep with a big teary welcome to the cancer club hug and a mop and bucket to clean the floors, or popcorn and a dvd for the kids, or dinner so you/they don’t have to make it, or whatever it takes, for as long as it takes – and you won’t have to ask for it, and you won’t have to say thanks, because we’ll both just know. It’s a special club and we take care of our own.

Lost a sister to cancer 3 and ahalf years ago, Absolutely crushed the entire family. Another sis has had breast cancer and is doing remarkably well. I wish this terrible disease on NOBODY. I am concerned for the rest of the family and try to limit my exposure to the sun and watch what I eat and so on. I don't think you ever get over the sights that you see during the times of chemo, radiation, and the eventual passing. I can not get it out of my mind watching her in pain and withering away.

Cancer has made me more fearful, more greatful, more stressed, and worry free. It has turned my world upside down and yet put me on a straight path with defined goals. It has taken a prescious child of mine, and gave me new friends. Cancer can affect every single aspect of your life, these are but a few of my own experiences.

My mother lost her fight to brain cancer when she was 42 Years old. I was 19, and going to college when she was diagnosed. We were extremely close, and her cancer affected me in a way that had left me with anxiety and fear. I miss her guidance, support, and laughter. She was my best friend, and my life really went backwards at times. What can I say, parent's are those we look up to, and hope they will be their for us when we have children. When they're gone you feel like their is no one to turn to. Before she passed away, she looked like my grandmother from withering away. So sad to see someone you love disinegrate into someone you don't know, especially in the time frame it took from her having surgery, going through radiation, remission, chemo therapy, then death. She suffered tremendously, and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone to have to go through it. I really admire people who are brave in the fight against cancer. I myself do not know how I would handle it, if cancer happened to me.

August 15,2007 I was diagonsed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma at the age of 37. I learned that I have to be very aggressive and extremely involved with every thing from diagnosis to treatments.After my complete masectomey in September of 2007 it was time for treatment.... Did you know that they still determine the stage of your cancer by what the pathologist can feel not what the radiologist can see. I found that to be the most ludicrus thing ever since other cancer cells were found in my breast by MRI and not by touch.This means that people are getting misdiagosed and their treatment may be less than what is needed to rid of the cancer. If we were to go with the pathological findings (what he could feel, my original tumor that I felt, I was stage I, no chemo, and put on tamoxifine. Going with what the radiologist could see and the fact that I had 3 other areas in question and 2 of them being cancerous I was more confident in the radiologist staging of Level II. Of course I did not want that to be the case but my treatment would change drastically. I let my oncologist know that I disagreed with the diagnosis( of using what the pathologist feels). He assured me that they would use both of the findings to determine treatment. You can never ask too many questions and I have also been part of a clinical trial that has also helped in determining my treatment. It let me know that I have a high risk for reoccurance. So my treatment went from no chemo to 6months of chemotherapy once every three weeks and tamoxifine twice a day for 5 years.Chemo for me was very much like being pregnant and going through menopause all at the same time. What a kick in the butt! I also did the genetic testing not just for my self but for my daughter, sisters and mother. Thank God they found my cancer to be environmental and not genetic. That also aided in my decision to keep my left breast during reconstruction.
As I sit here today I am through with chemo, my eye brows and eye lashes, and hair are making an aggressive come back which I find very exciting every day, LOL! I am taking tamoxifine every day, and exercising all the time.It has helped my mobility with my joints that were affected by the chemo drugs. I also now am very into organic food. I buy organic everything I can. It tastes so much better too! I feel better knowing that I'm not giving my daughter chemically induced food to eat. Cant avoid it all the time but we are trying.My entire family has been wonderful throughout this crazy trama(event) in my life. It affects family members as well, scares the hell out of them...they just wont say it in front of you :) No one one my mother or fathers side of the family has even had breast cancer....cancer at all for that matter. I wish it upon no one, my life was great before now it's even better. I plan on becoming involoved in the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Next year attend a summit so that I can bring awareness and help to my community not just during breast cancer month but every month.

I was diagnosed with medullary thyroid cancer in 2002 and at the time it was thought that it had metasticized to my left lung. I had my thyroid gland removed in October of that year and following radiation therapy underwent a lung biopsy on Christmas eve. Fortunately the spot on my lung turned out to be non cancerous. Although I was very scared during that period I came to face the fact that I might be dying and I actually made peace with the idea. As a cancer survivor I am always thankful that mine was caught in time and I tend not to take life for granted so much anymore.

I lost my Mother to blood cancer just before Christmas in 1996 & she only lasted a couple weeks & i think that was good for her, Not us, but good for her.Last October I lost a friend that I thought of as a Brother.I visited Don almost every day for a year & 3 weeks.
That was really hard, but I know that he would have been there for me.I did
quit smoking because of this & I've been
off the smokes for over a year. I just
hope that I quit in time.
I did gain a brand new outlook on life
& have come to respect the Hospice
people.

...just wanted to say we're proud of ya too!!!
Bubba & Catfish

i was diagnosed with rectal cancer in 9/6/07. i was 22 and it was hard for me to face. all i thought about was whats going to happen with my daughter if i would die. how will she be without me. but thanks to my family and friends i stop thinking negative and moved on fighting it and never giving up even though there where times that i wish i would have died. my mom and sister wouldn't let me give up. cancer made me love myself more and im happy im still alive. so Thanks to everybody who has helped me!!!!!!!!!

Cancer is more common now then it has ever been before. ANYONE can get cancer, even if you are healthy and you haven't had a beer or a cigarette in a few years you can still get cancer.
To every woman and man that reads this, please take the time to talk to your doctor about early cancer detection options. My Wife had cancer for about a year before it was detected according to her doctor. The earlier you can detect it, the better your chance will be at beating it!!
Cancer is the one subject that I don't like to talk about openly but knowledge and awareness is power when it comes to the fight against cancer. If you know someone that has cancer, give them the love and support that they desperately need. My Wife showed tremendous courage, and strength until the very end. My Wife went to be with the Lord as I held her hand on July 19, 2007.
We Miss You Rhonda!!!
Your Family and Friends

Cancer has affected my life in many ways . I could give all the negative side issues, quality of life after prostate cancer/operation/Hormone therapy/ Radiation / E/stem from other side effects / and another little problem called facial spasm. Botox is supposed to help this and it does for awhile then three months later another shot but still better then the alternative/ brain surgery. Enough of the negative stuff .
While doing radiation in Omaha also was doing physical Therapy E/stem/ therapy / for other side effects at the Columbus Hospital and accomplished as much as was possible. The four people that worked with me were very supportive from the first phone call through out the treatment, It can be said with their support along with family /friends and staff at the MedCenter were key in getting through all the unkowns’ at that time.
The treatments and tests still go on every three months and the news isn’t always good but it could be a lot worse.
You meet many people that you would never have met and they become part of getting through all the treatments

And their support is as important as family.

The last time I was in Omaha one of the girls that worked with me while doing radiation came up to me with this big smile and had to show me a picture of her six months old daughter. It can’t get better than that when a year or two later They still remember you and share what’s happening in their lives as well. I am sure it added a little more time to mine. I could share many more positive things during the last five years but the Health care /care givers/family /and friends play a big part in giving us support and help keep our attitude positive.

I have several friends dealing with different types of cancer and our support and prayers are needed for everyone.

The positive needs to said and whatever happens we probably are not going to have allot to say or do. God has his plan. Thanks to you ALL. BOB

My grandpa died of cancer when I was only in the fifth grade. We found out my aunt had breast cancer 12 years ago and has been doing awsome she has been cancer free. We just found out that my grandma has breast cancer back in Nov and just got done with treatment and everything seems to be doing just fine.Also one of my mom's cousins who is younger then the both of them has had breast cancer. The fear I have at this point and I have talked to my mom and asked if I would ever get breast cancer and the answer to that is yes. She told me that cancer is one that runs in the family and we are very high of getting it..Relay for life is something that I just got into with all that has gone on with my aunt. Before that I never knew what it was. Its so powering, I lived in Kansas City, KS for a couple of years and I always made it a point to come back for it, I look forward to it every year. This is something that I will keep doing and when I have a family of my own they will be right there with me.

Cancer has affected nearly everyone that I know and my family. We all know someone who has died a slow and painful death because of this deadly disease. I lost three of my grandparents to Cancer. I have an uncle who is from Duncan who has fought a great battle and is an example for us all. He has continued his gardening, mowing, and his activities without any complaints.
Personally I'm only 52 years old and have been battling cancer for over a year. So far, I've been one of the lucky ones who have gotten a clean bill of health. Because of the extensive operation to my head and neck I'm fully disabled and can't work. I'm slowly getting most of my functions back but, I've been told not to expect much better. So, if you want to talk about how cancer has affected our family, it's been frustating, sad, but, my immediate family has gotten much closer and appreciate every day. As far as my siblings and extended family, well, they don't understand what problems this brings and how it has changed us. That's families, you love them but, you don't like them a lot of the time. We all need to support and pray for cancer survivors', cancer sufferer's and their families, and the survivors of all who have fallen to this disease. Support the efforts to find a cure for this killer of both young and old.

I lost my brother in April to prostate cancer ,he was 61 ,way to young to be taken by something so treatable ,his twin brother also had it but it was caught in time.He was diognosed in 2005 with stage 4 terminal .I still can't believe he's gone,he remained a fighter to the end .Your in my heart forever Bro,We all miss you .Get those cancer check ups!!!!

kacj"year survivor", you said you were humble, but I didn't sense the least bit of humility coming from you. A ton of complaining, but absolutely no humility.

As for my own experience with cancer, I've had three bouts with two different types of cancers. The first occured in 1995; the second bout occured in 1996; the third occured in 2000. I've had good check-ups from each year since 1996, but in 2000, the cancer I had in 1995 returned. But since 2000, once again, I,ve been cancer-free...thank God!!

And yes, my treatment involved chemotherapy. I could care less with what other people say and do with regard to the chemo treatment, what it does to my physical appearance, or anything else people say and do with regard to me for that matter. "year survivor", grow up! With the way your conducting yourself, you won't last long! What you need a good old-fashioned attitude adjustment! You seem and sound extremely bitter and cranky! And, you use a lot of bad language...there are clean words that will better explain things, and at the same time, make you appear more intelligent.